Living with Contradiction

The tensions that challenge us can also make us stronger.

I’m reading Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird.” It’s about writing and being alive, really. She learned from her father that you don’t have to do everything at once. You can take it one small piece at a time. Try your best, pay attention, and keep faith when what’s in front of you feels impossible.

Lamott describes how even the most successful writers have bad days. They sit through boredom, insecurity, and doubt, but they keep showing up because they can’t imagine doing anything else. Frustration and devotion, side by side.

It made me think about how our minds are full of opposing pairs, sides we’re taught to see as good or bad, even. The more we care, the more we worry. We want to belong and be left alone. We crave safety and change. We fear what could go wrong, yet still yearn to make something new.

Being human means learning to live with contradictions, noticing when one side takes over and finding our footing again.

Our brains were built to keep us anchored and reaching, like bridges that rely on tension for strength. Zooming out can change the view. The pull is still there, but everything makes a little more sense together.

All to say, contradictions aren’t going anywhere. They can be a useful, even liberating, part of life to accept. When you get better at spotting and working with your own tension, you get a little better at working with the world’s too. You pause before judging, listen longer, and leave room for contradiction in someone else.

Think of a part of your own life that feels pulled in two directions.

What might that tension help you understand?

If you can appreciate both sides, how does that change the way you move forward?